Saturday Night, Sunday Morning

As previously mentioned, went to see The Big Bopper (resplendent again in ocelot jacket and matching shoes) at pub. Not many people there, which was a surprise, as Vicky Lambert was also performing, and she is a very good singer. There were in fact more people sitting outside than were in the bar, as was a very warm evening. However, undeterred the Big Bopper started his set to a largely empty pub, which must be quite dispiriting to say the least. I found myself sitting adjacent to an old gentleman with wild white hair, and incomprehensible speech. I gleaned after many, 'sorry I didn't quite catch that' remarks, that he had two new knees and a replacement hip, which explained the two sticks leaning against the wall. Every time he visited the loo, he would rock past, legs akimbo, in most unsteady fashion, leaving me wondering how on earth he managed once he reached his destination. Decided best not to dwell on this. Two began the evening with pint of lager, I think he intended to go for a personal best by exceeding the three pints he downed last Saturday. The Big Bopper Bopped on relentlessly to sparse applause, which had the effect of making me clap as hard as possible to create the illusion of More People. There were still more people outside than in, and a cuckoo was calling mockingly from the woods somewhere. Vicky was doing the second set, and she announced it might be an idea to sing outside as there were more people there .......etc.etc.

To my horror, Very Old Gentleman with Replacement Knees and Hip, suddenly leaned forward and asked if he could buy me and Two a drink. I demurred, but he was extremely insistent, and thrust a ten pound note at me. Two was outside having a fag, so when he returned he discovered his pint had been topped up, and I was nursing another white wine spritzer. A little later, Replacement Knees and Hip grabbed my hand and started kissing it fervently, to the obvious amusement of those at the bar. Not wishing to appear churlish, I put up with this for a moment or two, and then pulled my hand away. Two was completely unaware of all this, until eventually, after Replacement Knees and Hips Kept On Grabbing My Hand, someone pointed out that I needed rescuing. Two, who spends his life Not Noticing Anything, found it all very amusing, but did absolutely nothing to help me out. Eventually I was forced to retreat outside, where lightning was flashing ominously somewhere over Nottingham.

Thankfully, taxi arrived to whisk R.K.and H. away, and rest of evening passed off pleasantly. Vicky was in fine voice as always, and gradually a few more punters arrived. (The late Crew). Two sank about three and half pints, so achieved a P.B. but on return home ws curiously subdued, unlike last week when he was positively merry. Sank into coma like condition in chair, and seemed incapable of conversation.

Sunday morning, and Two was up early, said he had headache, but otherwise seemed okay. Went to supermarket, then came home and watched Nadal win French Open in blazing exhibition of clay-court genius.

Is Monday morning, and am typing this and waiting for arrival of Hub from BT, which means I am Going Wireless! Am not hopeful this will go smoothly, as Two seems a little unsure about how to set it all up. Watch this space.