Is Monday April 26th and is birthday of son and heir, who lives near Geneva. At just gone 8 am, I telephone to wish him Happy Birthday. Stop short at singing down phone, as have no wish to embarrass in place of work. His, not mine obviously. Son says is exhausted after weekend dealing with detrius of Mass Clipping by Daughter-in-Law. (You will recall she has lost control of Rechargeable Cordless Secateurs). Says he is looking forward to trip to UK they are making soon. Are coming to visit me, (hence frantic attempts to transform yard into Acceptable For Dining Al Fresco Area). Am very much looking forward to visit, is not often I see them. Think we will have Great Fun.
Two is doing nothing as usual. I pot-up five shrubs, which is quite hard work, as need to keep bending and scooping up compost etc. etc. I can see Two's head through window. He is watching TV. Consider lobbing flower-pot at head, but not worth breaking window. Eventually have to ask for assistance, as cannot life pot onto base to create illusion of varying degrees of height. Two manages this, and then retires immediately back to armchair.
Forget to mention that yesterday posted feedback on firm Strawberry Fields, who still hadn't contacted me regarding broken solar lights. Almost five minutes after putting negative feedback on website, phone rings and is them, apologising and asking me to please delete feedback as Replacements in Post. Assure them will do so, (somewhat cravenly), and on arrival of new lights will post 'Strawberry Fields Forever' by way of reparation.
Daughter-in-Law near Geneva has e-mailed me with suggestions for Best Shampoo and Conditioner for hair. Says hairdresser is probably Failed John Frieda wannabe and venting spleen on me. Am sure she is right. Am frightened to look at back of hair in mirror in case none there.
Off down South tomorrow to see delicious grandsons.
Monday, 26 April 2010
Narnia takes a backwards step!
Ah me! Saturday morning and I am all a quiver for the post. I am expecting delivery of 4 solar lights to further enhance magical ambience in backyard. Suddenly they are here, but my excitement is cruelly crushed as they are all (4) revealed to be broken. I ring the suppliers (Strawberry Fields), and inform them of tragedy. Lady assures me Someone Will Call Me Back. Nobody does. Am disappointed, but is Saturday and is karaoke at pub tonight, which hopefully will go some way to revive spirits.Have appointment to get hair trimmed in afternoon, so set off to local hairdressers. Only me in salon, and the gentleman hairdresser asks if I would like hair washed or cut dry. I plump for washed, (saves me doing it later), and he proceeds to do so. He then informs me Quite A Lot Came Away in the washing process. I hardly dare ask how much Quite A Lot is. A hank? Most of it? Am horrified, as hadn't noticed great clumps falling out at home. Hair is fine, and possibly finer than when younger, but still, hardly Sparse. Hairdresser combs through my few remaining strands and then starts brandishing his scissors. 'How much off'? he enquires, picking up a dripping lock of hair. 'An inch'? I quaver, and he does a Sharpish Intake of Breath, much in manner of Two when I'm parking. I summon a degree of assertion, which I feel is needed. 'An inch' I reiterate firmly. He looks at me in the mirror and shrugs. It is cut to the required length, and blown dry. He keeps clutching at fronds of hair and waving them wildly about. Is new technique I suppose, maybe to encourage hair to Try A Bit Harder. Am happy with length, only quibble is fringe, which is decidedly Cleopatra-ish.
Pay up and drive home, to find Two attempting to concoct Shepherds Pie from TV chef's recipe. We have purchased the necessary Minced Lamb, garlic, tomato puree, flour, onions, etc etc etc. in faint hope will produce tastier than usual Shepherds Pie. Quite exciting really. Sadly, after all that effort, the final product was Nothing Special. And even more sadly, Two has made enough for tomorrow as well.
It is nine pm and I am Ready For Night Out At Pub again. Am wearing quite staid outfit this week, skirt and jumper, but have donned cream coloured high heels to make statement. Karaoke is all set up, with vast tomes on tables containing myriad selections of songs to choose from. Unfortunately only about 5 people in pub. Sadly, it is not a successful evening, the usual throng fail to materialise, and my hopes of dueting with Mrs Rosy Mateus are dashed. One bloke standing at the bar, (sorry, the only bloke standing at the bar), suddenly pricks up his ears as a Johnny Cash track booms out. (The karaoke-man is pluckily playing on, despite lack of takers). Man at Bar decides to give us a rendition of 'I walk the Line', (Johnny Cash). Regretfully He Cannot Sing, Keep Time, or apparently, Read. Is abysmal. He is truly awful. He is Beyond Flat. Way Beyond. For the first time in weeks, we leave early.
So, unexpected early night. Shame.
Pay up and drive home, to find Two attempting to concoct Shepherds Pie from TV chef's recipe. We have purchased the necessary Minced Lamb, garlic, tomato puree, flour, onions, etc etc etc. in faint hope will produce tastier than usual Shepherds Pie. Quite exciting really. Sadly, after all that effort, the final product was Nothing Special. And even more sadly, Two has made enough for tomorrow as well.
It is nine pm and I am Ready For Night Out At Pub again. Am wearing quite staid outfit this week, skirt and jumper, but have donned cream coloured high heels to make statement. Karaoke is all set up, with vast tomes on tables containing myriad selections of songs to choose from. Unfortunately only about 5 people in pub. Sadly, it is not a successful evening, the usual throng fail to materialise, and my hopes of dueting with Mrs Rosy Mateus are dashed. One bloke standing at the bar, (sorry, the only bloke standing at the bar), suddenly pricks up his ears as a Johnny Cash track booms out. (The karaoke-man is pluckily playing on, despite lack of takers). Man at Bar decides to give us a rendition of 'I walk the Line', (Johnny Cash). Regretfully He Cannot Sing, Keep Time, or apparently, Read. Is abysmal. He is truly awful. He is Beyond Flat. Way Beyond. For the first time in weeks, we leave early.
So, unexpected early night. Shame.
Thursday, 22 April 2010
Garden Centre, custard tarts, how time flies
Today is I think, Thursday. Have been very busy. First of all Two and I drive down to the vilage so I can post my Mum's birthday present for delivery tomorrow. She is 94 tomorrow! Have bought her two jumpers, which I hope she likes.
Two trotted off to the cakeshop. Last time he did this, he Took a Tumble. (See previous blogs for gruesome details). Oh, forgot to mention, took Two's urine sample to doctors first. Urine clear as bell now. Anyway, Two returns to car bearing a great many paper-bags. Has obviously Gone Beserk in cake shop. I drive home up steep hill, (the shortest route), and Two is clutching door handle and doing his Sharp Intakes of Breath. I park, to Sad Shake of Head. 'I wasn't going to say anything' he volunteers, 'Because you get upset'. 'Not upset' I retort, 'Homicidal'. 'Precisely' he says. 'But....., we're going to need two new front tyres soon, the way you drive. And you always have your foot on the accelerator at junctions and traffic lights. Voom Voom', voom voom', he went. Again, temptation to seize bags of cakes and stuff them up his nose is extremely strong. I am speechless. The man is MAD.I stalk into the house in High Dudgeon and Extremely Indignant. Two starts chortling, he is going mad, I'm sure of it. Still think he is seeking opportunity to decline getting in car with me in order to pursue nefarious doings travelling by bus, over which I have persistently Drawn A Veil in this blog. We shall see. However, he is chortling because he has purchased two custard tarts, which he insists on photographing at various stages of ingestion and e-mailing to the custard tartless one near Geneva. This he achieves, by snatching the tart from my mouth to take its picture as it disappears. My daughter-in-law is now in state of extreme despair, as she is yearning for said confection, and not coming to UK for at least two weeks. What sort of a mind would want to inflict such pain on another human being I ask myself. Answer, Two's mind.
After all this juvenile activity, we set off for Garden Centre, where from a very poor selection I purchase two shrubs, a wigwammy thing for ivy to grow up, a paving slab and six air bricks. Back in the yard, Two huffs and puffs and finally heaves my biggest evergreen plant onto slab of concrete, which is standing on the bricks. Now have illusion of different level in yard. At one point during the huff and puff episode, he glares at me and suggests I help lift the plant up. See, he is trying to put me out of action, as knows I have back that is liable to pop, which will, if does pop, render me bedridden for week or two. I refuse to help. Two is purple with exertion, but plant is finally in place. Very nice it looks too Two. I arrange other shrubs around in pleasing manner, sweep yard, place solar powered lights in position, put new plants into pots with new compost, and finally collapse onto bench to admire handiwork. Is looking much better, almost like a garden. Have to confess have been on Amazon and ordered more solar powered lights, am gripped with compulsion to create magical effect.
Have to report that artifical tree has been moved back indoors, as looks odd in yard. Think it is maybe indoor plant anyway. Was being bullied by the real plants in yard as well, so Best Thing For It.
Am very tired now after exertions. Two has done very little as usual, but is tired also. Am going to watch Prime Ministers Debate and then probably go to bed. Need to find more shrubs tomorrow, need to find new garden centre. Will take photo of yard when finished and post it on here.
Two trotted off to the cakeshop. Last time he did this, he Took a Tumble. (See previous blogs for gruesome details). Oh, forgot to mention, took Two's urine sample to doctors first. Urine clear as bell now. Anyway, Two returns to car bearing a great many paper-bags. Has obviously Gone Beserk in cake shop. I drive home up steep hill, (the shortest route), and Two is clutching door handle and doing his Sharp Intakes of Breath. I park, to Sad Shake of Head. 'I wasn't going to say anything' he volunteers, 'Because you get upset'. 'Not upset' I retort, 'Homicidal'. 'Precisely' he says. 'But....., we're going to need two new front tyres soon, the way you drive. And you always have your foot on the accelerator at junctions and traffic lights. Voom Voom', voom voom', he went. Again, temptation to seize bags of cakes and stuff them up his nose is extremely strong. I am speechless. The man is MAD.I stalk into the house in High Dudgeon and Extremely Indignant. Two starts chortling, he is going mad, I'm sure of it. Still think he is seeking opportunity to decline getting in car with me in order to pursue nefarious doings travelling by bus, over which I have persistently Drawn A Veil in this blog. We shall see. However, he is chortling because he has purchased two custard tarts, which he insists on photographing at various stages of ingestion and e-mailing to the custard tartless one near Geneva. This he achieves, by snatching the tart from my mouth to take its picture as it disappears. My daughter-in-law is now in state of extreme despair, as she is yearning for said confection, and not coming to UK for at least two weeks. What sort of a mind would want to inflict such pain on another human being I ask myself. Answer, Two's mind.
After all this juvenile activity, we set off for Garden Centre, where from a very poor selection I purchase two shrubs, a wigwammy thing for ivy to grow up, a paving slab and six air bricks. Back in the yard, Two huffs and puffs and finally heaves my biggest evergreen plant onto slab of concrete, which is standing on the bricks. Now have illusion of different level in yard. At one point during the huff and puff episode, he glares at me and suggests I help lift the plant up. See, he is trying to put me out of action, as knows I have back that is liable to pop, which will, if does pop, render me bedridden for week or two. I refuse to help. Two is purple with exertion, but plant is finally in place. Very nice it looks too Two. I arrange other shrubs around in pleasing manner, sweep yard, place solar powered lights in position, put new plants into pots with new compost, and finally collapse onto bench to admire handiwork. Is looking much better, almost like a garden. Have to confess have been on Amazon and ordered more solar powered lights, am gripped with compulsion to create magical effect.
Have to report that artifical tree has been moved back indoors, as looks odd in yard. Think it is maybe indoor plant anyway. Was being bullied by the real plants in yard as well, so Best Thing For It.
Am very tired now after exertions. Two has done very little as usual, but is tired also. Am going to watch Prime Ministers Debate and then probably go to bed. Need to find more shrubs tomorrow, need to find new garden centre. Will take photo of yard when finished and post it on here.
Tuesday, 20 April 2010
Erruption of Vulcanologists continues.......
Yes indeed. Still they are winkling out vulcanologists from various seats of learning to inform, update, and comment on the situation. Is good time to be vulcanologist I feel. Most of the time they must sit in splendid isolation, studying and perfecting their craft, until suddenly they are queuing up to appear on telly.
Anyway, today is Tuesday 20th April I think. Two has finally resolved his on-going bowel problem, and is looking mightily relieved. Positively perky. I hope this is the end of matters pertaining to his waste disposal unit. Glad he did not spontaneously combust, but having discovered Movicol works by osmosis, imagine he would have merely dissolved. Urine infection is also surely On Way Out, as antibiotics are working by now I hope.
Today I have been deciding what is best to do about my backyard. Is decidedly drab, and Not Much Scope For Improvement. In moment of utter recklessness I have ordered an Artifical Tree to help things along. It is due to be delivered tomorrow, and I am quite excited. Also bought some more solar lamps to create magical effect in amongst foliage. Am hoping for Narnia type transformation. Think also garden mirror will enhance, and am hoping to order one shortly. In garden ornament section on Amazon, found surprising amount of Mere Cats. Also gnomes appear to be de rigeur again. Quite fancy Water Feature, but sounds complicated, and room is an issue. Maybe just create lush plastic evergreen oasis, with full compliment of Mere Cats and gnomes.
Is nearly supper time, Two is having kippers. (No comment). I am having Chilli-con-Carne courtesy of Sainsburys.
Daughter-in-law near Geneva has developed acute gardening bug, and I blame her for infecting me. She is beavering away with her cordless rechargeable secateurs, and when they become inoperable, hurls them to one side and carries on with the mechanical ones. This is true dedication. I think I have misled her about state of my back yard, and as she and my son are visiting us in May, I now have to create an approximation of the luxuriant foliage and twinkling lights she envisages. (Following my exaggerated description). A challenge, but I shall try to rise to the occasion.
Any ideas on transforming small yard into said paradise, gratefully received.
Toodle pip.
Anyway, today is Tuesday 20th April I think. Two has finally resolved his on-going bowel problem, and is looking mightily relieved. Positively perky. I hope this is the end of matters pertaining to his waste disposal unit. Glad he did not spontaneously combust, but having discovered Movicol works by osmosis, imagine he would have merely dissolved. Urine infection is also surely On Way Out, as antibiotics are working by now I hope.
Today I have been deciding what is best to do about my backyard. Is decidedly drab, and Not Much Scope For Improvement. In moment of utter recklessness I have ordered an Artifical Tree to help things along. It is due to be delivered tomorrow, and I am quite excited. Also bought some more solar lamps to create magical effect in amongst foliage. Am hoping for Narnia type transformation. Think also garden mirror will enhance, and am hoping to order one shortly. In garden ornament section on Amazon, found surprising amount of Mere Cats. Also gnomes appear to be de rigeur again. Quite fancy Water Feature, but sounds complicated, and room is an issue. Maybe just create lush plastic evergreen oasis, with full compliment of Mere Cats and gnomes.
Is nearly supper time, Two is having kippers. (No comment). I am having Chilli-con-Carne courtesy of Sainsburys.
Daughter-in-law near Geneva has developed acute gardening bug, and I blame her for infecting me. She is beavering away with her cordless rechargeable secateurs, and when they become inoperable, hurls them to one side and carries on with the mechanical ones. This is true dedication. I think I have misled her about state of my back yard, and as she and my son are visiting us in May, I now have to create an approximation of the luxuriant foliage and twinkling lights she envisages. (Following my exaggerated description). A challenge, but I shall try to rise to the occasion.
Any ideas on transforming small yard into said paradise, gratefully received.
Toodle pip.
Sunday, 18 April 2010
A Lava of Volcanologists!!!
So what is the collective noun for Volcanologists? Or the spelling I prefer because it has connotations of something Other Worldly, Vulcanologists. Never have so many of these experts in volcanos' been on the telly before. Spouting forth, in manner reminiscent of their expertise, on the current Icelandic erruption. Every bulletin brings forth another of these folk. From all Universities and Seats of Learning, they are sliding like molten lava into our lives. I never knew there was so many!
Is Sunday, and last night at pub was well up to expectations with very very good female singer called Vicki. Has voice much better than most of the candidates on X Factor etc. Pub spellbound at her rendition of Wild Horses. For some strange reason we all sang 'We'll Meet Again' at one point. Felt a bit as though something cataclysmic was about to occur. Still, spirit of Dunkirk and all that.
After an hour of umming and aahing I finally decided could Just Get Away with wearing black leggings. I have castigated women of a certain age for wearing these, possibly in a previous blog. However, after surfing the net for reassurance from various fashion pundits, I summoned up my courage and donned them. Of course I wasn't alone. Mrs Rosy Mateus was also wearing leggings, and she as you know, is my heroine. Also she jives very well. Pub again packed to capacity. Hurrah! Two sat sadly with bandaged face and oozing wound on chin, mustering Sad But Brave Smile every now and then. People enquired as to how these injuries had occurred, and of course he said I attacked him with poker. Home 1 am, with first signs of back strain. Should never have done the Twist.
Is Sunday, and last night at pub was well up to expectations with very very good female singer called Vicki. Has voice much better than most of the candidates on X Factor etc. Pub spellbound at her rendition of Wild Horses. For some strange reason we all sang 'We'll Meet Again' at one point. Felt a bit as though something cataclysmic was about to occur. Still, spirit of Dunkirk and all that.
After an hour of umming and aahing I finally decided could Just Get Away with wearing black leggings. I have castigated women of a certain age for wearing these, possibly in a previous blog. However, after surfing the net for reassurance from various fashion pundits, I summoned up my courage and donned them. Of course I wasn't alone. Mrs Rosy Mateus was also wearing leggings, and she as you know, is my heroine. Also she jives very well. Pub again packed to capacity. Hurrah! Two sat sadly with bandaged face and oozing wound on chin, mustering Sad But Brave Smile every now and then. People enquired as to how these injuries had occurred, and of course he said I attacked him with poker. Home 1 am, with first signs of back strain. Should never have done the Twist.
Saturday, 17 April 2010
Two Takes A Tumble
I am up early, the sun is shining, the birds are singing their tiny feathered heads off, and all bodes well. Daughter in France phones to say their car is now mended, and they will be in the UK next week. I say I will try to get down South to see them all, but have reservations about the state of Two's health. Still Has Not Been. May have to go back to see doctor on Monday for Depth Charge. But I go online to get new Senior Railcard, which will be very useful if go down by train.
Two comes downstairs, and suddenly for no good reason, becomes quite aggressive. Says he sees no reason why he cannot drive, (ahem- I beg to differ -partial seizures!) Gets very agitated, and says has headache. I say if can't be reasonable, will not talk to him, and he apologises. He then goes on-line and also orders Senior Railcard.
I say we need to go out for a few things, and off we go. Only down to the village, so not far. We buy our groceries, go to bun-shop for scones and cream cakes, and then start to make our way back to car. Two suddenly decides would be fun idea to buy custard tarts and take photograph of same to e-mail to daughter-in-law near Geneva, who is having a custard tart crisis. Cannot remember if blogged about this, but I mentioned said custard tarts in e-mail to her, and she suddenly developed great yearning for one. (Sprinkled with Nutmeg of course). Sadly such a thing is not to be found where she lives, so she is sadly forever custard tartless.
Two toddles off back to bun shop whilst I loiter in the warm sunshine. Suddenly strange woman appears saying, 'Excuse me duck, your husband has fallen over'. I stare at her blankly, and then follow her, to discover Two sitting morosely on seat, with Another Woman agitating round him. Has Fallen Over. Has sustained nasty gash to chin, another next to eye, bump on face and superficial cuts to hands. Says he was fishing in pockets for change, and next thing pavement was coming up at him. Is a bit shocked, (as indeed am I- further evidence of Doddering), and the two kind ladies proffer advice and kindly concern. I take Two home, and phone Out Of Hours Service, as is still shaky on legs, has gravel in cuts, and May Need Medical Attention. Am told to take him to Minor Injuries Unit about 5 miles away. Two very quiet in car and doesn't criticise driving as cannot see further than 10 yards due to glasses being bent in fall, and now unwearable. Nurse Practitioner Person very efficient and Two now sports steri-strips, pad over skin near eye to stop wound opening up, and oozing chin wound. BP and temperature are taken as matter of course, and reveal nothing untoward. Drive home. Two seems okay, has cup of tea, and settles down to study the horses. Youngest daughter phones, and I tell her what has occurred. She is of the opinion his Urine Infection may be partly to blame, as can disorientate people.
If we go to pub tonight as planned, Two will be subject of much discussion. Hope they don't think I attacked him with poker. Am quite exhausted by all this unexpected drama, and to think I was going to definitely clear out my pots in back yard ready for summer bedding.
Am going downstairs for Nice Cup of Tea now.
Two comes downstairs, and suddenly for no good reason, becomes quite aggressive. Says he sees no reason why he cannot drive, (ahem- I beg to differ -partial seizures!) Gets very agitated, and says has headache. I say if can't be reasonable, will not talk to him, and he apologises. He then goes on-line and also orders Senior Railcard.
I say we need to go out for a few things, and off we go. Only down to the village, so not far. We buy our groceries, go to bun-shop for scones and cream cakes, and then start to make our way back to car. Two suddenly decides would be fun idea to buy custard tarts and take photograph of same to e-mail to daughter-in-law near Geneva, who is having a custard tart crisis. Cannot remember if blogged about this, but I mentioned said custard tarts in e-mail to her, and she suddenly developed great yearning for one. (Sprinkled with Nutmeg of course). Sadly such a thing is not to be found where she lives, so she is sadly forever custard tartless.
Two toddles off back to bun shop whilst I loiter in the warm sunshine. Suddenly strange woman appears saying, 'Excuse me duck, your husband has fallen over'. I stare at her blankly, and then follow her, to discover Two sitting morosely on seat, with Another Woman agitating round him. Has Fallen Over. Has sustained nasty gash to chin, another next to eye, bump on face and superficial cuts to hands. Says he was fishing in pockets for change, and next thing pavement was coming up at him. Is a bit shocked, (as indeed am I- further evidence of Doddering), and the two kind ladies proffer advice and kindly concern. I take Two home, and phone Out Of Hours Service, as is still shaky on legs, has gravel in cuts, and May Need Medical Attention. Am told to take him to Minor Injuries Unit about 5 miles away. Two very quiet in car and doesn't criticise driving as cannot see further than 10 yards due to glasses being bent in fall, and now unwearable. Nurse Practitioner Person very efficient and Two now sports steri-strips, pad over skin near eye to stop wound opening up, and oozing chin wound. BP and temperature are taken as matter of course, and reveal nothing untoward. Drive home. Two seems okay, has cup of tea, and settles down to study the horses. Youngest daughter phones, and I tell her what has occurred. She is of the opinion his Urine Infection may be partly to blame, as can disorientate people.
If we go to pub tonight as planned, Two will be subject of much discussion. Hope they don't think I attacked him with poker. Am quite exhausted by all this unexpected drama, and to think I was going to definitely clear out my pots in back yard ready for summer bedding.
Am going downstairs for Nice Cup of Tea now.
Friday, 16 April 2010
I have to say .....................
Grrr. And Double Grrrrrr!!!!! How many times a day do I hear people preface their remarks with 'I have to say'....... please, please, stop saying it! You ARE GOING TO SAY IT ANYWAY!!!
Having said that, I have to say that today is freezing again, the Ash Cloud is apparently still hovering malevolently in British Air Space, and Two has still failed to Open His Bowels. So far, so same as bloody usual. Sorry about the swearing, but I am, as you can tell, a little wound up. Two keeps walking past me quickly, causing a horrendous draft, and has just asked if is okay to wash his blackwatch tartan jim jams, because 'he has had a urine infection and has been wearing them for some time'. So glad I didn't have to turn them inside out.
Watched the Three Leaders Debate last night, and like the majority of people,(as I am given to understand by the pundits),fell for Nick Clegg. We shall see.
This morning spent harrowing half-hour on computer (yes, this one), trying to send my son's birthday presents via his Wish List on Amazon. Screen kept freezing, then logging me out, etc. etc. and I Have To Say it was very gruelling. Finally I succeeded. My son has already said I need a new computer, and I Have To Say, I think he is right.
For the moment then, this is all I Have To Say.
Having said that, I have to say that today is freezing again, the Ash Cloud is apparently still hovering malevolently in British Air Space, and Two has still failed to Open His Bowels. So far, so same as bloody usual. Sorry about the swearing, but I am, as you can tell, a little wound up. Two keeps walking past me quickly, causing a horrendous draft, and has just asked if is okay to wash his blackwatch tartan jim jams, because 'he has had a urine infection and has been wearing them for some time'. So glad I didn't have to turn them inside out.
Watched the Three Leaders Debate last night, and like the majority of people,(as I am given to understand by the pundits),fell for Nick Clegg. We shall see.
This morning spent harrowing half-hour on computer (yes, this one), trying to send my son's birthday presents via his Wish List on Amazon. Screen kept freezing, then logging me out, etc. etc. and I Have To Say it was very gruelling. Finally I succeeded. My son has already said I need a new computer, and I Have To Say, I think he is right.
For the moment then, this is all I Have To Say.
Thursday, 15 April 2010
Two has More Trouble with Waste Disposal
Good grief. Is Thursday ( I think). Took Two to doctors, armed with bottle very very cloudy urine. Apparently passing water (well, not water exactly,) is painful now. Has also observed blood in urine. Doctor apparently dipped litmus paper in sample and recoiled in horror. Is full of everything imaginable! Now has anti-biotics and also Semtex for constipation in form of Movicol. He is told that if this fails to work, he must return as matter of urgency! Am now imagining Two is in danger of Spontaneous Combustion.
Mission Control near Geneva (daughter-in-law), has now received Ghastly Photographs of Two demonstrating The Horror Of Haemorrhoids, from which she is trying to recover. Is okay, they are not pictures of Actual Haemorrhoids for God's sake! Even so, Two, clad in blackwatch tartan jim-jams, with expression of excrutiating pain on face, is quite, well, Ghastly. Personally, I can't wait to see the video. We have decided (daughter-in-law and me) that we have to make some sacrifices for Art. But there is a limit.
Two has just downed his first dose of Movicol, so I intend to remain downwind for rest of day. Have hideous visions of pebble-dashed bathroom, but Must Not Dwell on this. Have placed Air Freshener conveniently and prominently near loo in case of Unexpected Explosion. Is like living on edge of volcano. Talking of which, much on news this morning pertaining to The Great Ash Cloud that is wafting over the UK from Iceland, and causing major disruption to airlines. Am reminded of scene in War of The Worlds where strange cloud formation heralds arrival of Hostile Aliens. Must get grip on over-active imagination.
Will be blogging later, imagine there may be a News Update.
Mission Control near Geneva (daughter-in-law), has now received Ghastly Photographs of Two demonstrating The Horror Of Haemorrhoids, from which she is trying to recover. Is okay, they are not pictures of Actual Haemorrhoids for God's sake! Even so, Two, clad in blackwatch tartan jim-jams, with expression of excrutiating pain on face, is quite, well, Ghastly. Personally, I can't wait to see the video. We have decided (daughter-in-law and me) that we have to make some sacrifices for Art. But there is a limit.
Two has just downed his first dose of Movicol, so I intend to remain downwind for rest of day. Have hideous visions of pebble-dashed bathroom, but Must Not Dwell on this. Have placed Air Freshener conveniently and prominently near loo in case of Unexpected Explosion. Is like living on edge of volcano. Talking of which, much on news this morning pertaining to The Great Ash Cloud that is wafting over the UK from Iceland, and causing major disruption to airlines. Am reminded of scene in War of The Worlds where strange cloud formation heralds arrival of Hostile Aliens. Must get grip on over-active imagination.
Will be blogging later, imagine there may be a News Update.
Wednesday, 14 April 2010
More bad news from coal face
Here I am again, same day. Little frazzled. Two confided to me in car on way home from Supermarket (yes-again), that he is still suffering from constipation. I told him I was under the impression all was well in that department, but he said unfortunately not. Must have misconstrued what he said. On return home Two phones doctor and makes appointment to discuss recalcitrant bowels. From sound of it, Semtex might be best option.
We spend a jolly (well fairly jolly) hour taking photographs to promote next excursion onto Youtube. As the song in question is called 'The Haemorrhoid Blues', I will leave the rest to your imaginations. Suffice to say I feel a little queasy. I e-mail the photos to Mission Control near Geneva, where daughter-in-law is busy clipping hedges with cordless rechargeable secateurs. She is multi-talented n'est pas?
It takes an hour to send all the photos, after which I partake of cup of tea and clotted cream scone,as am in need of Little Treat. Is now approaching 5.15pm and the bar downstairs is open, so next Little Treat will be Glass of White Wine.
Note to self. On way to doctors surgery tomorrow, must remember to watch out for simian husband of lady on bus. Feel sure he will be swinging through branches somewhere, lopping away merrily and totally disregarding Health and Safety. Feel I know him already.
Next note to self. Remember to get hair cut. Do something about the grey bits. Get arms ready for summer, if possible. Toodle pip.
We spend a jolly (well fairly jolly) hour taking photographs to promote next excursion onto Youtube. As the song in question is called 'The Haemorrhoid Blues', I will leave the rest to your imaginations. Suffice to say I feel a little queasy. I e-mail the photos to Mission Control near Geneva, where daughter-in-law is busy clipping hedges with cordless rechargeable secateurs. She is multi-talented n'est pas?
It takes an hour to send all the photos, after which I partake of cup of tea and clotted cream scone,as am in need of Little Treat. Is now approaching 5.15pm and the bar downstairs is open, so next Little Treat will be Glass of White Wine.
Note to self. On way to doctors surgery tomorrow, must remember to watch out for simian husband of lady on bus. Feel sure he will be swinging through branches somewhere, lopping away merrily and totally disregarding Health and Safety. Feel I know him already.
Next note to self. Remember to get hair cut. Do something about the grey bits. Get arms ready for summer, if possible. Toodle pip.
Save life of Two in Heroic Fashion
Is freezing this morning. April is going backwards, the daffodils opposite cottage have heads bent before icy blast. Is Wednesday 14th April.
Two comes downstairs in usual bleary mode, and disappears into kitchen to make comforting pile of toast. (For himself). He re-appears with plate of same, festooned with much juicy marmalade. 'You ought to try this marmalade' he says, through mouthful of same, spraying out crumbs in unattractive manner. 'This marmalade', he continues, is Three Fruit Marmalade!' He pauses for effect. 'Really', I say. 'And which three fruits actually comprise this delicious marmalade?' 'I don't know actually' he sprays. 'It wouldn't by any chance include Grapefruit'? I ask. Two looks as me askance, and hastily repairs to kitchen to examine the jar. Of course it does include grapefruit, which is forbidden. It is mentioned on the list of contra-indications for one of his myriad medications. He has Avoided Grapefruit Like The Plague since reading this, and is now spluttering with horror. The offending toast and possibly lethal marmalade is consigned to the bin. So far he has suffered no ill-effects, but I feel suitably smug, as have possibly Saved His Life. In fact, play upon this for some considerable time. Feel possible 'Wife of the Year Award' may not be out of question. Am Angel Of Mercy. Will continue this Blog later, as am off to Bask In Glory.
Two comes downstairs in usual bleary mode, and disappears into kitchen to make comforting pile of toast. (For himself). He re-appears with plate of same, festooned with much juicy marmalade. 'You ought to try this marmalade' he says, through mouthful of same, spraying out crumbs in unattractive manner. 'This marmalade', he continues, is Three Fruit Marmalade!' He pauses for effect. 'Really', I say. 'And which three fruits actually comprise this delicious marmalade?' 'I don't know actually' he sprays. 'It wouldn't by any chance include Grapefruit'? I ask. Two looks as me askance, and hastily repairs to kitchen to examine the jar. Of course it does include grapefruit, which is forbidden. It is mentioned on the list of contra-indications for one of his myriad medications. He has Avoided Grapefruit Like The Plague since reading this, and is now spluttering with horror. The offending toast and possibly lethal marmalade is consigned to the bin. So far he has suffered no ill-effects, but I feel suitably smug, as have possibly Saved His Life. In fact, play upon this for some considerable time. Feel possible 'Wife of the Year Award' may not be out of question. Am Angel Of Mercy. Will continue this Blog later, as am off to Bask In Glory.
Tuesday, 13 April 2010
The Fat Owl of The Fifth Remove
I know, sounds like a coded message doesn't it. Is in fact Billy Bunter, as other IMPs (OAPs) will know. Heard it on Egg Heads tonight, which is still one of my favourite programmes. Is Tuesday April 13th, and is cold, very cold indeed.
Back to The Fat Owl of the Remove, (or is it the fifth remove, must check on Google). How very un PC it sounds these days, yet was perfectly acceptable once. Billy Bunter, profoundly rotund and always sleepy. At Greyfriars School. Wasn't there a master called Mr Quelch or am I making things up?
Heard most interesting and lengthy conversation on bus yesterday. (I do occasionally take the bus as is free). Four local ladies, about whose lives and the lives of their husbands, I could now write a book. Well almost. One lady has a husband who is afflicted with Very Cold Feet, which she attributes to statins. Seems the poor soul has feet like blocks of ice, and she Is Not Sure These Pills Are Doing Him Any Good. Another lady has a husband who is most definitely A Man's Man, and spends most days swinging from the branches of trees, lopping off overhanging ones with great gusto. He is a stranger to Health and Safety, and Has Always Been The Same. He is also apparently Very Popular and Will Talk To Anyone. They are going on holiday to Switzerland this year, and then touring. Last year they visited The Austrian Tyrol. She had a bowl of cereal for breakfast, because It Is All She Could Manage, and then Threw Any Old Clothes On before catching the bus. Glancing sideways I would beg to differ. She is wearing a Cream Two Piece, Teamed with Matching Accessories. Hardly
thrown together I would think. Another lady, who I fancy works as either a cook or cleaner at one of the pubs en route, appeared this morning in slightly smarter outfit than her usual drab attire. I surmised she wasn't going to work, and was proved right, as she stayed on bus as it sailed past said pub. Have decided you can learn an awful lot on bus journeys. Was a bit worried about driver though, as he spent much of journey fiddling with the money in his ticket machine thingy, and only had one hand on the wheel. Was imagining headlines in paper 'Bus Plunges Onto Railway Line', or Bus Somersaults - ten fatalities', or worse still, 'Bus swerves off road into field, passengers soaked in silage'. They are muck-spreading at the moment, and the smell is awesome. No I mean, awesome. Would not care to end up nose down in that lot.
Daughter-in-Law at Mission Control near Geneva, is planning new video. May have mentioned this before, but is now necessary for me to learn to dance in manner of Cheryl Cole/Tweedy. Will be challenge. Am limbering up gently in preparation, mindful of possibility Back Will Go Again. Back has been problem since lifting huge plant pot some years ago. Lifting incorrectly. Sprang backwards in manner of startled frog as loud BANG ( I kid you not) emitted from lower back. Transpired had ruptured something, a disc I think. Was blooming agony for ages, so am quite careful now when lifting. Bend knees etc. Or don't lift at all.
Heard from youngest daughter, is back from holiday with The Thoughtful One. They loved Sri Lanka, and Would Go Again. All seems well with them again, which is Good News.
Have noticed The Wily One (aka Two), keeps dropping things. Is this a symptom of something? Crashes and bangs follow him around the house, some very alarming. He knocked down a huge pile of books onto the computer desk, and the Mouse had completely disappeared when I came to log on. Was on floor behind computer, and took some winkling out. Did I mention he also knocked over entire bottle of his beloved TCP? Bathroom stinks of it. On thinking about it, is probably due to onset of Dodderiness. Is currently watching one of favourite films 'The Bourne Identity', having spent day doing Absolutely Nothing. Mind you, neither have I. Keep looking at weed infested garden pots, and feeling guilty have no summer bedding installed. Went mad year before last, but have lost momentum. Back yard looks very glum indeed. Even looks glum when festooned with summer bedding to be honest. Two spotted Bullfinch today and called me to kitchen window to observe. Was quite excited. He is still putting out enormous amount of food for Our Feathered Friends, and is, as I have stated before, spending quite a lot of our disposable income thereon. Bullfinch is remarkable, has huge pouting bosom, is rotund in manner of Owl of Fifth Remove. There, have accidentally linked end of blog with beginning in classic literary style!
PS Referring back to Manhole Mary in previous blog, forgot to mention how very draining her work must have been.
Back to The Fat Owl of the Remove, (or is it the fifth remove, must check on Google). How very un PC it sounds these days, yet was perfectly acceptable once. Billy Bunter, profoundly rotund and always sleepy. At Greyfriars School. Wasn't there a master called Mr Quelch or am I making things up?
Heard most interesting and lengthy conversation on bus yesterday. (I do occasionally take the bus as is free). Four local ladies, about whose lives and the lives of their husbands, I could now write a book. Well almost. One lady has a husband who is afflicted with Very Cold Feet, which she attributes to statins. Seems the poor soul has feet like blocks of ice, and she Is Not Sure These Pills Are Doing Him Any Good. Another lady has a husband who is most definitely A Man's Man, and spends most days swinging from the branches of trees, lopping off overhanging ones with great gusto. He is a stranger to Health and Safety, and Has Always Been The Same. He is also apparently Very Popular and Will Talk To Anyone. They are going on holiday to Switzerland this year, and then touring. Last year they visited The Austrian Tyrol. She had a bowl of cereal for breakfast, because It Is All She Could Manage, and then Threw Any Old Clothes On before catching the bus. Glancing sideways I would beg to differ. She is wearing a Cream Two Piece, Teamed with Matching Accessories. Hardly
thrown together I would think. Another lady, who I fancy works as either a cook or cleaner at one of the pubs en route, appeared this morning in slightly smarter outfit than her usual drab attire. I surmised she wasn't going to work, and was proved right, as she stayed on bus as it sailed past said pub. Have decided you can learn an awful lot on bus journeys. Was a bit worried about driver though, as he spent much of journey fiddling with the money in his ticket machine thingy, and only had one hand on the wheel. Was imagining headlines in paper 'Bus Plunges Onto Railway Line', or Bus Somersaults - ten fatalities', or worse still, 'Bus swerves off road into field, passengers soaked in silage'. They are muck-spreading at the moment, and the smell is awesome. No I mean, awesome. Would not care to end up nose down in that lot.
Daughter-in-Law at Mission Control near Geneva, is planning new video. May have mentioned this before, but is now necessary for me to learn to dance in manner of Cheryl Cole/Tweedy. Will be challenge. Am limbering up gently in preparation, mindful of possibility Back Will Go Again. Back has been problem since lifting huge plant pot some years ago. Lifting incorrectly. Sprang backwards in manner of startled frog as loud BANG ( I kid you not) emitted from lower back. Transpired had ruptured something, a disc I think. Was blooming agony for ages, so am quite careful now when lifting. Bend knees etc. Or don't lift at all.
Heard from youngest daughter, is back from holiday with The Thoughtful One. They loved Sri Lanka, and Would Go Again. All seems well with them again, which is Good News.
Have noticed The Wily One (aka Two), keeps dropping things. Is this a symptom of something? Crashes and bangs follow him around the house, some very alarming. He knocked down a huge pile of books onto the computer desk, and the Mouse had completely disappeared when I came to log on. Was on floor behind computer, and took some winkling out. Did I mention he also knocked over entire bottle of his beloved TCP? Bathroom stinks of it. On thinking about it, is probably due to onset of Dodderiness. Is currently watching one of favourite films 'The Bourne Identity', having spent day doing Absolutely Nothing. Mind you, neither have I. Keep looking at weed infested garden pots, and feeling guilty have no summer bedding installed. Went mad year before last, but have lost momentum. Back yard looks very glum indeed. Even looks glum when festooned with summer bedding to be honest. Two spotted Bullfinch today and called me to kitchen window to observe. Was quite excited. He is still putting out enormous amount of food for Our Feathered Friends, and is, as I have stated before, spending quite a lot of our disposable income thereon. Bullfinch is remarkable, has huge pouting bosom, is rotund in manner of Owl of Fifth Remove. There, have accidentally linked end of blog with beginning in classic literary style!
PS Referring back to Manhole Mary in previous blog, forgot to mention how very draining her work must have been.
Sunday, 11 April 2010
Manhole Mary!
It is Sunday and another glorious day. This morning we discover that the computer has mysteriously removed most of the desk-top icons overnight, and all my work seems to be awol! Panic seizes me, but Two rises to the occasion and retrieves all. Phew!Copies will be made to outwit computer should it Have Another Funny Turn. Talking of Funny Turns, Two had another partial seizure yesterday, which I duly noted in diary. Didn't last long, but I could see he was frightened. Is very horrible for him. It has been a few weeks since last one, so hopefully they are going to stop happening.
Last night at the pub proved not to be the karaoke I was expecting.I tried on the leggings and sadly they proved to be a major faux pas. Elderly earwig. Discarded them and put on sensible jeans as have no wish to be Laughing Stock as well as Dancing Buffoon.
Good singer and guitarist performing, (maybe karaoke next week, must have misread the sign), but pub nearly empty which is a shame. But when the Late Crew arrived, things perked up. My erstwhile dancing partner, the incorrigible Trevor, began telling us a story about when he worked on building the M1 motorway. He is a natural comedian, and his tale of Manhole Mary ........well, you couldn't make it up. He described looking up one day, to see this vision of raven-haired beauty, clad in Ocelot Coat, high heels, the lot, delicately picking her way down the motorway embankment. He said he assumed she was the wife of one of the workers, but it transpired she was making the most of a Great Business Opportunity, and was a hooker! She was going down the drains, hence the soubriquet Manhole Mary, and selling sex to the men building the road. Enterprising or what? Manhole Mary, if you are still out there, I salute you. Ocelot Coat and all.
Mission Control near Geneva has uploaded another video onto my Youtube Channel, The Web Widow Blues, a little lament which other widows such as Golf Widows, Jogging Widows etc. will relate to I am sure. My daughter-in-law has a marked talent for creating videos to accompany the songs, and we are embarking on a video epic when she and my son come to visit in May. Will be Great Fun!!!
Am going to have cup of Hot Chocolate now, and relax. Should really attend to row of sad weed infested tubs in back yard, but find prospect unattractive. Au Revoir for now. And let's hear it for Manhole Mary.
Last night at the pub proved not to be the karaoke I was expecting.I tried on the leggings and sadly they proved to be a major faux pas. Elderly earwig. Discarded them and put on sensible jeans as have no wish to be Laughing Stock as well as Dancing Buffoon.
Good singer and guitarist performing, (maybe karaoke next week, must have misread the sign), but pub nearly empty which is a shame. But when the Late Crew arrived, things perked up. My erstwhile dancing partner, the incorrigible Trevor, began telling us a story about when he worked on building the M1 motorway. He is a natural comedian, and his tale of Manhole Mary ........well, you couldn't make it up. He described looking up one day, to see this vision of raven-haired beauty, clad in Ocelot Coat, high heels, the lot, delicately picking her way down the motorway embankment. He said he assumed she was the wife of one of the workers, but it transpired she was making the most of a Great Business Opportunity, and was a hooker! She was going down the drains, hence the soubriquet Manhole Mary, and selling sex to the men building the road. Enterprising or what? Manhole Mary, if you are still out there, I salute you. Ocelot Coat and all.
Mission Control near Geneva has uploaded another video onto my Youtube Channel, The Web Widow Blues, a little lament which other widows such as Golf Widows, Jogging Widows etc. will relate to I am sure. My daughter-in-law has a marked talent for creating videos to accompany the songs, and we are embarking on a video epic when she and my son come to visit in May. Will be Great Fun!!!
Am going to have cup of Hot Chocolate now, and relax. Should really attend to row of sad weed infested tubs in back yard, but find prospect unattractive. Au Revoir for now. And let's hear it for Manhole Mary.
Saturday, 10 April 2010
Sunshine, Supermarket and Sad Mistake
Is Saturday 10th April, and I wake up to A Very Sunny Day! I have been unavoidably detained all week on Very Serious Business Matter, so have just come back to Blog. Sadly cannot reveal nature of Very Serious Matter at this juncture, but may be able to lift veil of secrecy in future. Anyway, is sunny. We set off for supermarket early as Two, (aka The Wily One) has important stuff to do relating to the horses. Is Grand National today, so nuff said. We have very quiet drive to supermarket, Two refrains from Sharp Intakes of Breath, Criticisms, and Sad Shakes of Head. Maybe he is reading my blog? I discard Two at supermarket as he takes forever reading ingredients on each item. I head for the clothing section, as feel need for Little Treat.I now come to Possible Sad Mistake. Regretfully and possibly disastrously, I purchase a pair of black leggings. I may sport these for night out at pub, (karioke tonight). Is that how you spell kareoke? Ah that looks better. Back to the leggings. Will I resemble raddled old earwig in black leggings? Can I get away with it? I also purchase long white blouse which will cover most of me down to mid-thigh. Will this be definitive Mutton Dressed as Lamb? If I hear snorts of derision from Two, shall probably attack him with poker.
Back home, laden with the necessities of life, i.e. scones, flowers, new clothes, Daily Telegraph, Ready Meal for supper and bottles of plonk. Two informs me the price of plonk has risen alarmingly, but is essential for Keeping Up Spirits of IMPS, or OAPS as more commonly known. (for definition of IMPS see Very Old Blog.)
Shall resume blog after have tried on leggings. Watch this space.
Can smell strong odour of TCP, and discover Two has spilt a whole bottle in bathroom. He is devoted to this tincture and sloshes it on like aftershave. I do not know why, and I do not ask. Maybe he drinks it as well. Note he has bought huge amount of pitted dates, so assume Bowel Problem may be looming again.
Am seriously considering painting toenails now. Skin still fails to achieve youthful elasticity, but decide maybe years of neglect have given miracle cream very tough challenge. Will persevere.
Back home, laden with the necessities of life, i.e. scones, flowers, new clothes, Daily Telegraph, Ready Meal for supper and bottles of plonk. Two informs me the price of plonk has risen alarmingly, but is essential for Keeping Up Spirits of IMPS, or OAPS as more commonly known. (for definition of IMPS see Very Old Blog.)
Shall resume blog after have tried on leggings. Watch this space.
Can smell strong odour of TCP, and discover Two has spilt a whole bottle in bathroom. He is devoted to this tincture and sloshes it on like aftershave. I do not know why, and I do not ask. Maybe he drinks it as well. Note he has bought huge amount of pitted dates, so assume Bowel Problem may be looming again.
Am seriously considering painting toenails now. Skin still fails to achieve youthful elasticity, but decide maybe years of neglect have given miracle cream very tough challenge. Will persevere.
Monday, 5 April 2010
Bank Holiday Blues
Yes-highlight of Monday is the bin-men collecting our rubbish, but today is a bank holiday, so no collection. No post either. So off to supermarket. Weather not very good, skies grey, skin elasticity - no great improvement. I notice whisker in nostril and am seized with horror. Grab tweezers and try to grasp whisker, but proves remarkably resilient. Eventually get some purchase and yank. Eeeek! How painful is that? However whisker gone, but am glum as will almost certainly grow back. Will have to invest in rotary nasal trimmer next.
Home after shopping trip, laden with sweet gooey things and as a nod to healthy eating, one bag of rocket, washed so it says, in Spring Water. Two makes no comment on my driving today, apart from the inevitable Sucking In of Breath when the car in front brakes. I hope his air-bag deploys one day, that should silence him temporarily. I decide to phone my sister, and do so. About a minute into our conversation I hear her flushing the loo. She says I caught her in the middle of something. This does nothing to alleviate my depression. We watch Deal or no Deal where everyone is dressed up as characters from Alice in Wonderland. This depresses me further.
I have found some blogs I would like to follow, and have done so. So far, the only person following me seems to be me. I don't know quite how this happened. Think I shall have shower now and moisturise my gnarled bits.
Sorry to be so negative today. Perhaps tomorrow when the bin-men come I shall feel better. I was talking to Two this afternoon about something inconsequential, when he suddenly looks at me with an expression that reminds me of the March Hare. And not the Johnny Depp version.
Hey ho.
Home after shopping trip, laden with sweet gooey things and as a nod to healthy eating, one bag of rocket, washed so it says, in Spring Water. Two makes no comment on my driving today, apart from the inevitable Sucking In of Breath when the car in front brakes. I hope his air-bag deploys one day, that should silence him temporarily. I decide to phone my sister, and do so. About a minute into our conversation I hear her flushing the loo. She says I caught her in the middle of something. This does nothing to alleviate my depression. We watch Deal or no Deal where everyone is dressed up as characters from Alice in Wonderland. This depresses me further.
I have found some blogs I would like to follow, and have done so. So far, the only person following me seems to be me. I don't know quite how this happened. Think I shall have shower now and moisturise my gnarled bits.
Sorry to be so negative today. Perhaps tomorrow when the bin-men come I shall feel better. I was talking to Two this afternoon about something inconsequential, when he suddenly looks at me with an expression that reminds me of the March Hare. And not the Johnny Depp version.
Hey ho.
Sunday, 4 April 2010
High Jinx at the Pub (Again)!!
Well it's Saturday night again, hooray!!! Put on new black lacy tights (very pretty), and immediately put finger through them creating unsightly hole. Manage to disguise by wearing black boots. We arrive at pub (not teetering as boots have tiny little heels), and place is heaving. Great! Singer turns out to be young man with truly good voice, and everyone very happy. Mrs Rosy Mateus is already there, not drinking her usual tipple, but happy and elegant as ever. She is wearing black leggings (debatable but she gets away with it), a longish black top and some attractive costume jewellery. Very well turned out, as usual. She and I exchange smiles, she says 'Alright duck'? I nod and smile. No sign of Wildly Waving Couple from last week, or of my elusive doppelganger Melanie. I have white wine spritzer as does Two. The Wily One spends a lot of time Deciding What to Drink when we go out. He is not a big drinker, and is aghast at the pints of beer disappearing down other men's throats. Trevor my dancing partner comes in quite late, but we do not trip the light fandango. Bit disappointed really, as will be Much More Stable in low-heeled boots. Landlady produces large platters of sandwiches which are much appreciated by everyone. Evening ends with singer pleading 'Haven't you got homes to go to?', as cries of 'more, more', ring from rafters. Feel a little bit merry after second white wine spritzer. Hope no headache tomorrow. When we get in I drink a glass of water, go to bed and am asleep in minutes. Love Saturday night.
Thursday, 1 April 2010
Where is the Easter Bunny?
Well, as I said a lot earlier, March has gone out like lion. There is snow this morning (1st April), and Very Chilly Wind. Daffodils opposite house are just starting to flower, and someone (no names no pack drill) is picking them. Not very public spirited. No sign of any Easter Eggs from Two, pretty sure none forthcoming, as in supermarket with him today, and apart from several mysterious disappearances to loo, had him in my line of sight the whole time. Before supermarket, we go into local hostelry, (Cirrhosis Central), and Two has whisky and coffee. As designated driver I have hot chocolate. Man adjacent has two pints of beer in front of him, and discover they are both for him, which saves waiting to be served I suppose. Very heavy drinking going on here, interspersed with visits to front door for fags.
On drive home, am attacked once again by Two, who demands I Take Foot Off Accelerator as am 'wasting ******* petrol'. I point out he is spending pounds on bird food, judging from weight of bag containing sunflower seeds, fat balls, etc.etc. Can see time rapidly approaching when Two elects to take bus everywhere, have feeling is building up to this. Wonder why? Is it for nefarious reasons? Accept have degree of paranoia, but due to previous knowledge (over which have drawn veil), am suspicious.
Have bought fresh supplies of skin cream (the youthful elasticity one), as am convinced I must persevere. Will keep you posted.
On drive home, am attacked once again by Two, who demands I Take Foot Off Accelerator as am 'wasting ******* petrol'. I point out he is spending pounds on bird food, judging from weight of bag containing sunflower seeds, fat balls, etc.etc. Can see time rapidly approaching when Two elects to take bus everywhere, have feeling is building up to this. Wonder why? Is it for nefarious reasons? Accept have degree of paranoia, but due to previous knowledge (over which have drawn veil), am suspicious.
Have bought fresh supplies of skin cream (the youthful elasticity one), as am convinced I must persevere. Will keep you posted.
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