The Fat Owl of The Fifth Remove

I know, sounds like a coded message doesn't it. Is in fact Billy Bunter, as other IMPs (OAPs) will know. Heard it on Egg Heads tonight, which is still one of my favourite programmes. Is Tuesday April 13th, and is cold, very cold indeed.

Back to The Fat Owl of the Remove, (or is it the fifth remove, must check on Google). How very un PC it sounds these days, yet was perfectly acceptable once. Billy Bunter, profoundly rotund and always sleepy. At Greyfriars School. Wasn't there a master called Mr Quelch or am I making things up?

Heard most interesting and lengthy conversation on bus yesterday. (I do occasionally take the bus as is free). Four local ladies, about whose lives and the lives of their husbands, I could now write a book. Well almost. One lady has a husband who is afflicted with Very Cold Feet, which she attributes to statins. Seems the poor soul has feet like blocks of ice, and she Is Not Sure These Pills Are Doing Him Any Good. Another lady has a husband who is most definitely A Man's Man, and spends most days swinging from the branches of trees, lopping off overhanging ones with great gusto. He is a stranger to Health and Safety, and Has Always Been The Same. He is also apparently Very Popular and Will Talk To Anyone. They are going on holiday to Switzerland this year, and then touring. Last year they visited The Austrian Tyrol. She had a bowl of cereal for breakfast, because It Is All She Could Manage, and then Threw Any Old Clothes On before catching the bus. Glancing sideways I would beg to differ. She is wearing a Cream Two Piece, Teamed with Matching Accessories. Hardly
thrown together I would think. Another lady, who I fancy works as either a cook or cleaner at one of the pubs en route, appeared this morning in slightly smarter outfit than her usual drab attire. I surmised she wasn't going to work, and was proved right, as she stayed on bus as it sailed past said pub. Have decided you can learn an awful lot on bus journeys. Was a bit worried about driver though, as he spent much of journey fiddling with the money in his ticket machine thingy, and only had one hand on the wheel. Was imagining headlines in paper 'Bus Plunges Onto Railway Line', or Bus Somersaults - ten fatalities', or worse still, 'Bus swerves off road into field, passengers soaked in silage'. They are muck-spreading at the moment, and the smell is awesome. No I mean, awesome. Would not care to end up nose down in that lot.

Daughter-in-Law at Mission Control near Geneva, is planning new video. May have mentioned this before, but is now necessary for me to learn to dance in manner of Cheryl Cole/Tweedy. Will be challenge. Am limbering up gently in preparation, mindful of possibility Back Will Go Again. Back has been problem since lifting huge plant pot some years ago. Lifting incorrectly. Sprang backwards in manner of startled frog as loud BANG ( I kid you not) emitted from lower back. Transpired had ruptured something, a disc I think. Was blooming agony for ages, so am quite careful now when lifting. Bend knees etc. Or don't lift at all.

Heard from youngest daughter, is back from holiday with The Thoughtful One. They loved Sri Lanka, and Would Go Again. All seems well with them again, which is Good News.

Have noticed The Wily One (aka Two), keeps dropping things. Is this a symptom of something? Crashes and bangs follow him around the house, some very alarming. He knocked down a huge pile of books onto the computer desk, and the Mouse had completely disappeared when I came to log on. Was on floor behind computer, and took some winkling out. Did I mention he also knocked over entire bottle of his beloved TCP? Bathroom stinks of it. On thinking about it, is probably due to onset of Dodderiness. Is currently watching one of favourite films 'The Bourne Identity', having spent day doing Absolutely Nothing. Mind you, neither have I. Keep looking at weed infested garden pots, and feeling guilty have no summer bedding installed. Went mad year before last, but have lost momentum. Back yard looks very glum indeed. Even looks glum when festooned with summer bedding to be honest. Two spotted Bullfinch today and called me to kitchen window to observe. Was quite excited. He is still putting out enormous amount of food for Our Feathered Friends, and is, as I have stated before, spending quite a lot of our disposable income thereon. Bullfinch is remarkable, has huge pouting bosom, is rotund in manner of Owl of Fifth Remove. There, have accidentally linked end of blog with beginning in classic literary style!

PS Referring back to Manhole Mary in previous blog, forgot to mention how very draining her work must have been.