Today is I think, Thursday. Have been very busy. First of all Two and I drive down to the vilage so I can post my Mum's birthday present for delivery tomorrow. She is 94 tomorrow! Have bought her two jumpers, which I hope she likes.
Two trotted off to the cakeshop. Last time he did this, he Took a Tumble. (See previous blogs for gruesome details). Oh, forgot to mention, took Two's urine sample to doctors first. Urine clear as bell now. Anyway, Two returns to car bearing a great many paper-bags. Has obviously Gone Beserk in cake shop. I drive home up steep hill, (the shortest route), and Two is clutching door handle and doing his Sharp Intakes of Breath. I park, to Sad Shake of Head. 'I wasn't going to say anything' he volunteers, 'Because you get upset'. 'Not upset' I retort, 'Homicidal'. 'Precisely' he says. 'But....., we're going to need two new front tyres soon, the way you drive. And you always have your foot on the accelerator at junctions and traffic lights. Voom Voom', voom voom', he went. Again, temptation to seize bags of cakes and stuff them up his nose is extremely strong. I am speechless. The man is MAD.I stalk into the house in High Dudgeon and Extremely Indignant. Two starts chortling, he is going mad, I'm sure of it. Still think he is seeking opportunity to decline getting in car with me in order to pursue nefarious doings travelling by bus, over which I have persistently Drawn A Veil in this blog. We shall see. However, he is chortling because he has purchased two custard tarts, which he insists on photographing at various stages of ingestion and e-mailing to the custard tartless one near Geneva. This he achieves, by snatching the tart from my mouth to take its picture as it disappears. My daughter-in-law is now in state of extreme despair, as she is yearning for said confection, and not coming to UK for at least two weeks. What sort of a mind would want to inflict such pain on another human being I ask myself. Answer, Two's mind.
After all this juvenile activity, we set off for Garden Centre, where from a very poor selection I purchase two shrubs, a wigwammy thing for ivy to grow up, a paving slab and six air bricks. Back in the yard, Two huffs and puffs and finally heaves my biggest evergreen plant onto slab of concrete, which is standing on the bricks. Now have illusion of different level in yard. At one point during the huff and puff episode, he glares at me and suggests I help lift the plant up. See, he is trying to put me out of action, as knows I have back that is liable to pop, which will, if does pop, render me bedridden for week or two. I refuse to help. Two is purple with exertion, but plant is finally in place. Very nice it looks too Two. I arrange other shrubs around in pleasing manner, sweep yard, place solar powered lights in position, put new plants into pots with new compost, and finally collapse onto bench to admire handiwork. Is looking much better, almost like a garden. Have to confess have been on Amazon and ordered more solar powered lights, am gripped with compulsion to create magical effect.
Have to report that artifical tree has been moved back indoors, as looks odd in yard. Think it is maybe indoor plant anyway. Was being bullied by the real plants in yard as well, so Best Thing For It.
Am very tired now after exertions. Two has done very little as usual, but is tired also. Am going to watch Prime Ministers Debate and then probably go to bed. Need to find more shrubs tomorrow, need to find new garden centre. Will take photo of yard when finished and post it on here.
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1 comment:
Yard sounds Magical!!! Can't wait to see :) XXX
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