Two struggles to outhouse

Yesterday Two found journey to outhouse extremely perilous (is all of six feet). This due to nightly re-freeze of already frozen and lumpy ground. However dedication to our feathered friends is paramount, have become Two's extended family. Took hammer out to bash icy surface (to no avail). Suggested he lays down sacking or similar. Am waiting for shrill cry and dull thud. Or dull thud and shrill cry. Have decided cannot bear daily round of TV, culminating in Countdown, Deal or no Deal, Weakest Link, Eggheads, etc.etc.etc. ad nauseum. Decided to watch film Cheri as am re-reading the book (by Colette). Beautiful. Coronation Street disaster continued later, am I alone in wondering why the Emergency Services took aeons to arrive? Regret to announce am still Unshowered, but have placed heater in position again. Also need to address Cutting Toenails now back has improved. Am considering venturing to pub tonight to break monotonous regime whilst Snow and Ice bound. Is now eleven in morning and Two is snoring on sofa. Was up very early (up to no good I expect) and is now fast asleep. I have despatched Christmas presents abroad via Amazon, in fashion best described as Willy Nilly. Panicked when saw news item describing problems with deliveries due to severe weather conditions. Am picturing bemused family confronted with pile of gifts unlabelled. Imagine will provide hours of amusement working it out. Or Snorts of Derision.