Arise Sir Bill!

High jinx at pub last night. Met Wife of Bill, hitherto unseen and generally considered to be Tragic Pub Widow, as Bill fully paid up member of The Late Crew on nightly basis. Mrs Bill is a hoot, very lively and very funny. After sinking several vodka and limes, she instigated experiment to levitate one of The Late Crew by dint of several people pressing down hard on victims head, then raising them up using only one thumb and finger. Hard to explain but you get the drift. Volunteers were surprisingly not forthcoming, and so the hapless and somewhat drunk Bill was pressed into service. Sitting on chair in middle of floor, he submitted to four hefty blokes pressing their hands down onto his head, and not I have to say, in very gentle way. Just when it seemed his head would disappear into his neck, Mrs B gave the command 'lift', thumbs and fingers were applied to various strategic points, and Bill rose a very wobbly inch, before landing back on stool with Dull Thud. Determined to Make This Work, Mrs Bill decreed a second attempt should be made, this time with Much More Pressure to head of hapless Bill. This time he did indeed rise a little higher- but the end result was the same-except the thud of his re-entry a little heavier. I can't help wondering if the whole episode was a sort of revenge by Mrs Bill on errant husband. Had she succeeded, he could still be hovering somewhere above the bar, having his pints passed up to him. I fear this would have been Bill's idea of heaven.