Reluctant as I am to reveal my true identity to the legions following my blog (ahem), I am about to reveal that I am in fact married to Mr Two Hardy, and was therefore extremely affronted to receive a communication the other day addressed to self, as Mrs Hary. I will freely admit to the following; I am too thin, too jittery, too neurotic, too self-effacing sometimes, but I am NOT, and never have been, hirsute. There, got that off my chest along with the hair.
Has been fairly productive day. Have cleaned kitchen sink, hoovered, showered, annointed self with Skin Firming Cream, eaten requisite number calories, fetched Two from bus-stop after solitary expedition to local town for (ahem again) haircut. Has had usual cut, Vulpine. Have replied to e-mail from son and heir who was enquiring as to whether I had Put On Weight as could still not be seen from Space. Having explained Fattening Up Diet to him, received reply should perhaps Eat Some Fruit. Seems this might be counter-productive as need to retain food in system in order to Lay Down Layer of Fat, not rush same pell-mell through system. Has point though. Shall eat banana.
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