Two loses control of wardrobe

Two has been shopping for sports orientated garment to wear to gym. Explained at some length needed top to wear that would be (a) easily foldable for storage in locker, (b) festooned with many pockets, pouches etc. for keys, wallet, etc etc. , and (c) multi-seasonal i.e. All Weather garment. I ventured to suggest already has several tops fitting this description in wardrobe, but was scornfully ignored. Needless to say, having rampaged around Primark and returned in triumph with Yet Another Sports orientated garment, Two has now rootled around in wardrobe, and discovered two practically identical items hanging in squashed manner between quite a lot of natty shirts. Marks and Spencer Blue Harbour range, ( the sporty tops, not the shirts).Wonder who conceived brand-name? Sounds enticing to men who fantasise about standing on bridge of own vessel, slate blue eyes narrowed with concentration, salt spray stinging their skin as they grip the wheel (is it a wheel?) and steer towards distant horizon with the spirit of the buccaneer surging through their popping veins. Does the rowing machine at the gym quite fulfill these nautical fantasies I wonder? Anyway, am glad to report Two is now a Fully Fledged Sporty Garment Person. A man for all seasons. That is, until winter sets in, when I envisage Fur may come into play. Gets mighty cold up here.