Two is still glum, although slightly less so, but is now exhibiting signs of mild aggression. Still has post-nasal drip, still coughing. When he finally emerged from pink cocoon yesterday morning, announced he was going to be pissed off at sight of me cleaning living room, and started waving arms about in agitated fashion and haranguing me in shrill tones. What, he demanded, are you planning to do with my stuff? Eyes popping with indignation he indicated the piles of paper and assorted crap adorning mellow gate-legged table. Well pardon me for wanting to polish and clean. Muttering darkly he then proceeded to gather everything up and move it onto the sofa. Lovely. I am going out he informed me, and shan't be back for some time. Very Captain Oatsey.
During prolonged (and most welcome) absence of Two, finally managed to achieve degree of tidiness and cleanliness hitherto unseen in small dusty cottage. Broke two nails in process, but feel worthwhile sacrifice. Two finally hove back into sight mid-afternoon, sporting two carrier bags of M & S food, and in better frame of mind. Proceeded to tell me he had parked car, went to lock it, discovered keys were not in pocket but still in ignition with engine still running. Am wondering if Safe To Be Let Out Alone. Probably not, but alternative too ghastly to contemplate. Cannot become Keeper of Two. Is obviously going mad. Today need to address tidying back yard. Am preparing self for new episode of arm-waving, eye-popping behaviour. Can't wait.
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