Diary date 19th Match 2010

Has been quiet uneventful week, but tonight is Elvis at pub. Have always loved EP as is part of my early teenage years. First record I bought was Jailhouse Rock, but sadly best friend Diana sat on it, from which it did not recover.

At 8.30 we are ready to go, and once again I am in the vertiginous heels (different pair this time), teamed with (as they say in the fashion mags), white jeans and wrap-around top to hopefully disguise how far my bum has dropped. Not so much 'Does my bum look big in this?' as 'Where has it gone'? Am considering investing in padded knickers to re-create sexy silhouette of yore.

Teeter into pub and immediately encounter Elvis, weaving sinuously across the floor clad in black leather. He is warbling 'Don't be cruel', one of my favourites. He is suprisingly supple for one of reasonably advanced years and reminds me of someone (other than Elvis that is), but can't for the life of me think who. For a while think it is Dick Van Dyke, but eventually realise that bizzarely is Robert Helpmann, who was the child-catcher in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Remark on this to Two, but is lost on him. Pub not over-full, which is a pity, nevertheless Elvis is going through his paces with enormous energy. Sound system is pushing out about a million decibels, and once again Two is Wincing. At the end of his first set Elvis leaves the building, and goes to have fag in garden. (I am also having fag in garden). A good half-an-hour passes and then the Build-Up to his second set begins, with pounding (and I mean POUNDING) music and flashing lights. It builds and builds, until wisps of smoke start materialising from hearing aids, and ear-drums generally approach perforation point. Two wears agonised expression, is shaking head and clutching ears. I advise him to avoid looking at flashing lights in case triggers 'Funny Turn'. Ear-splitting music reaches crescendo and suddenly Elvis bounds into the bar, spectacularly clad in jewel encrusted white satin with obligatory stand-up collar. This is his Las Vegas set,incorporatin much vigorous arm-thrusting and a risky slow descent to the floor with leg out at right-angles. I am intrigued as to how he is going to get up again, but has obviously practised a lot, and rises with control and dignity. He actually has a very good voice and has the mannerisms of EP off to a T. He now starts to sing 'Love me Tender', which I don't think comes from the Las Vegas period, but never mind. He slinks across the bar towards me, ( I am thrilled), glances at Two to ensure he isn't the jealous type (no danger there), and then serenades me, gazing all the while into my heavily mascared eyes. I gaze back, determined to make the most of the moment, then glance at Two, who I regret to say is smirking in a most peculiar way. Ignore this, and give my heart a few pats to indicate to Elvis the fluttering he has induced. He smiles and moves on. Second set ends, and pattern emerges as before, except this time Elvis springs into action wearing red satin suit encrusted with .......etc.etc. I am puzzled as to where is actually springing from, as no door in adjacent bar. Conclude must be changing costume in garden and climbing in through window.

Night ends with self dancing with complete stranger to strains of Teddy Bear, another old favourite. Regretfully find myself making clawing motions with hands and emulating growling during 'don't want to be your tiger, tigers play too rough passage'. Wonder now what must have looked like, but best not to dwell. Tried it out in front of mirror at home, which is a big mistake, so have decided to delete from memory bank.

All in all, fantastic evening. Tomorrow night is Rex and the Foreskins. Apparently highly popular and we are advised to Get There Early in order to find seat.

Social life definitely on Up and Up.