White Rabbits!
I am embarking on intensive skin-care regime, and if claims of cream are to be believed, skin will regain youthful elasticity in 4 weeks. Because I am Worth It. I am taking this action mostly because I needed new driving licence, which necessitated photograph. Girl in local chemist took photo, and asked me to push fringe out of way. Fringe last bastion of hope, and photo vile. Also not allowed to smile, so now have vile, fringeless old sourpuss photo on driving licence.
Bump into Next-Door-Neighbour whilst having solitary gin and tonic and fag outside pub. Ask if he and his wife would like to come round for drinks one evening. Next-Door-Neighbour looks down at me thoughtfully, he is preposterously tall, about six feet eight. 'We have a lot of demands on our time' he replies. Suitably shrivelled, I look at the ground. 'I am supposed to be retired' he adds loftily. 'We have a lot of demands on our time'. I hadn't expected my invitation to be interpreted as 'A Demand On His Time', so struggle to rally and am about to make craven reply, 'Well, if you find you can squeeze us in', when he relents and addressing the tops of the trees, says, 'Yes, well, it might be nice'. Am not holding my breath, chance of convivial evening seems remote. Two is no use, as he doesn't feel the need for social interaction, apart of course from with the birds. Actually, that hasn't always been strictly true, but again, I must Draw A Veil Over This.
Home, and open dry roasted peanuts and assorted snacks bought for drinks with neighbours. Ditto bottle of gin.
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