Diary Date 5th March 2010

Draw back curtains revealing sunny but cold day. Can hear Two (The Wily One), snoring blissfully upstairs, interspersed with noises reminiscent of impatient horse. When he comes downstairs, cannot bring myself to inquire as to whether has opened bowels, but absence of zoo-like miasma in bathroom seems to indicate they remain firmly closed.

Discussion ensues as to necessity of purchasing circular stainless steel pedal bin for kitchen. Seems best choice considering miniscule proportions of kitchen. Have been using black bin bag but this is not satisfactory, (or aesthetically pleasing). Two says will need to go Further Afield than local town to find this particular item. I set off alone in search of pedal bin, convinced I will find one locally, and return triumphantly with gleaming stainless steel etc etc. Admit is not circular as specified, but oval proves to be much better fit in confined space. Two suitably impressed as now no need to Go Further Afield. Can report pedal-bin fully operational and feel great sense of achievement.

Whilst out I also collect my much needed new prescription glasses from optician, who informs me while fitting them that I have a narrow head. This worries me, as I now feel must look like Grebe. Have decided to avoid nodding in future to minimise resemblance to Nodding Grebe. The new glasses are varifocals, which are going to take a bit of getting used to. Optician advises me not to trip on way out, as is bad for business. They are also light reactive, so I can look very mysterious and glamorous whilst trotting about. Also good for reading in garden.

Am very much looking forward to tomorrow night, as entertainment at pub sounds promising. The Big Bopper is appearing, not the real one obviously, as you of a similar age to me will remember, he died in the same plane crash as Buddy Holly. Am quite excited about going out, as social life as recorded before, pretty grim. Will report back tomorrow, March 6th.